Thursday, July 20, 2006

(In an Irish voice): he Floyd up that mountain

Well i'm back from a long holiday away from you.

And i start with the most remarkable stage in the Tour de France there has ever been in my lifetime, apart from Giuseppe 'The Italian' Guerini cycling into the photographer, but this is less comedy and more amazing.

Yesterday Floyd Landis' Tour was in ruins after he completely ballsed up the final climb and let the Spanish Oscar Pereiro take the yellow jersey, taking an insurmountable lead of around 8 minutes over Landis. But today....

Well Floyd Landis had to do the most difficult thing: break early and hold it for the whole route. Which he did quite amazingly, now only 30 seconds of Pereiro with the time trial on Saturday to come, now the outright favourite. It must've absolutely cained.

In my lifetime cycling has been dominated by two men, Indurain and Armstrong: like Sampras and Schumacher, no one likes a continual winner and it was tough going watching the indomitable being indomitable. Can't wait to get home and see how it all unfurled, full praise to Landis what a lad. Cycling has needed a day like this in the Tour to rejuveante a sport marred by constant winners and doping. Today has been that day, wicked.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Moving Tovies


Malking Tovies has moved and can now be found at .

Remember salad dodgers, the feed has also moved there.


Thursday, November 17, 2005

Malking Tovies: RSS Update

Thanks to the ultra legend that is Mr. Sock the Malking Tovies podcast now has the support of Liberated Syndication.

Well whop de do, what does it all mean Basil?

We can now host all the Malking Tovies casts we could ever want and get an automated RSS feed.

So, point your podcatchers at the new feed:

and look for the previously unhead pilot cast of Wolf Creek.

You may have to wait until next month until our entire back catalogue has been uploaded as we don't want to max out our bandwidth limit, but they are coming.

Also we're looking into submitting the cast to iTunes, but we'll keep you up to date with how that's going.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Malking Tovies: The Constant Gardener

A quick heads up to all our listeners. This week's podcast will be The Constant Gardener rather that Broken Flowers as we had previously advertised.

So trot down to your local cinetorium and give it a watch. While your at it, also watch 'City of God' Meirelles' last film and submit a few questions for the show.

Hopefully the cast will be up by Wednesday.

technorati tags: , , , , , ,

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Malking Tovies the 4th: Gigli

Up there with Police Academy 5: Misson to Moscow and Kazaam. This film is awful.

Link it to Ultimate Force with hard man Rebbe, I mean Ross Kemp, and win prizes with this weeks IMDb game.

04: Gigli

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Malking Tovies: A History of Violence

The feature of this weeks Malking Tovies cast is David Cronenberg's highly acclaimed A History of Violence.

Watch for interesting banter about Anne Boleyn, the Icelandic Film Board and Will Smith's New Year's Eve party.

Also, adding yet another twist to our helker skelter of a podcast , this week we introduce a regular feature: The IMDB Game.

Can you link ITV's Murder City to our feature film A History of Violence in under seven moves?

Answers should be sent to this posts comments section, to have a chance to win big prizes!

Malking Tovies: A History of Violence

Malking Tovies

The time has come for a new section of the blog in the form of a talking blog, otherwise known as a pod-caste.

The 'cast is a chat about a particular film each week. If you're looking for in depth film reviews then go and listen to Mark Kermode on the BBC 5Live.

If you're looking for Will Smith bashing and conversation that takes you everywhere but the topic of the film then click on the links down the right hand side.


Dan and Hugh.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Enoela Gay

Katrina has gone but its full force is still being left behind. Houses are still wet, people are still missing, bodies are still floating and Mr. Bush is still boating around taking in the sights. But a bigger, more long term impact is upon us.

I speak of course of the go ahead for the release of a film called 'Venom'. Towards the end of silly season, when all the journos are returning from their holoidays only to be packed off to report on hurricanes or on terrorism anniversaries, there is still room for a shit load of tosh to get through. Both BBC and the fetid scab that is MSNBC are reporting on a horror film based in Louisiana where a man gets possessed by evil souls and starts hunting down innocent teenagers in the swampland. Surely a ban would be better for a poor plot, for the Weinersteins' influence, for the title 'Venom', for this not being the 'time' for a horror film.

I am struggling to understand why this non-event/created bollocks has come to the fore. My theory is based on entertainment sectors of both websites looking for an angle on Katrina that doesn't involve 'TV station continues broadcasting underwater'/'Magazine stand left soggy'. Twin towers being pasted out of Zoolander looks like the scoop of the century compared to this. A slightly damper than usual horror film is not a story.

Still funny though really, perhaps someone has an idea of setting up a pressure group to try and get this film banned? Perhaps a BanVenomBlog needs to be arranged, with a slightly Christian/ClipArt-happy flavour? Let me know if you're keen.

Monday, September 12, 2005

eBay getting people connected?

So I'll probably be the last person to report that eBay is buying Skype for some $2.4billion, not bad for a company that's only being around for a couple of years.

What interests me the most is what eBay plans to do with Skype. It will obviously continue to expand and develop its VoIP services but this announcement by eBay adds a bit of a twist to things.

In short eBay wants to broaden VoIP's use by intergrating it into the marketplace. As it stands people can only list their username but this will advance into the ability to call and leave messages for users.

I'd like to see a VoIP customer service solution develop as well, and not just for eBay but worldwide. The amount of money one wastes on calling automated help desks and info lines is ridiculous.

The Skype move has puzzled a lot of people but it may just make quite a lot of sense.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

History and the Internet

A conversation with my Mum sparked probably my most original thought in months so I have made haste to publish my comments for all to see.

How will the internet shape the grand narrative of human history?

Historians today try and piece together what they can from many sources. Newspapers, census data, diaries, the list goes on. What got me thinking was what impact the net will have in a couple of centuries time. Until recently l wouldn't have thought much. Despite the archiving ability of the net, assuming it doesn't blow up or take on a mind of it's own and kill us all, for many years it fell inline with the more traditional media. A handful of people dominated content and the rest of us just sat back and sucked it all in. But this is changing,

Since time began mankind has looked towards some one or something to provide us with a narrative of our existence. These have always been parents and scholars but also religion and it the last half of the twentieth century vast media outlets. It was those peoples accounts of events that we all subscribed to.

There is however a very new mediaspace that bloggers, podcasters and vcasters alike inhabit and the defining factor behind it all is how easy it is for anyone to enter. There isn't really a world event that doesn't get blogged, dissected and discussed in this new arena. Indeed the coverage of the London Bombings and now the devastation bought by Hurricane Katrina are prime examples of this.

So how will future historians receive this new resource pool, and how will it alter our perception of history. I would like to believe it would be received with open arms. It is a fantastic measure of public opinion and opens avenues of discussion that are easily overlooked by the main stream media. It is the voice of millions of people expressing there views on geo-politics, ideology, philosophy (I could go on) like never before. It will allow the people a greater opportunity to write the story. It's an electronic renaissance.

I would like someone to conduct a little experiment with me. For a given time scale, maybe just a few days or a week, one of us will gather our news only from traditional news outlets. This includes the net but, just the big boys. The other can only collect there news from the blogosphere. When it's all over we can discuss our findings on some of the days big news stories. Anyone game?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Noel noel, ne-ne-noel noel, ne-ne-noel noel, ne-nuh there's Noel limit.

More of a TV theme this afternoon. Hunting around trying to find out when Cash Cab was back on, (a gameshow in which unsuspecting taxi-passengers get to play for big money with which they can fulfill their dreams) i stumbled across one of the finest search engines on the internet. For those of you incapable of remebering where you live, what programmes you can watch on your tv, and what sort of telly you like, ITV have surpassed themselves in a user friendly way that makes google look like a virtual milk float in comparison to this virtual speed boost rocket car.
Possibly the best fun you can have with is to type in 'Not sure' in the first box, 'Not Sure' in the second box and 'I don't mind' in the third and see what the technologically vacant plebs at Carlton-Granada advise you for your pleasure. I'm sure that it is one of the only search engines on the internet that you can give no information and still get a result that obviously fits in with everything you wanted from a TV channel. More to come on the laugh-a-minute world of TV websites.

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Flip Side of the Invaders

A thought-provoking article called The Naive American about a guy who awards contracts in Iraq. I'll have to ruminate upon it more before commenting, but I found it cos the guy who wrote it, Steven Vincent, is dead, murdered last week in Iraq, and has been linked from a number of news articles. RIP.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Grampa Joe, the Rise of Powerhouse Child Actor and the Wonkification of Google

For those of you who haven't realsied yet I went to see Tim Burton's adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night. The book and the original film were cornerstones of my childhood so I had pretty high expectations as I took my seat in the cinema, and as I left I had lots to talk about.

The most obvious bit of analysis to make it between Depp and Wilder. Both are very different. Wilder was dramatic, very physical with the part. I remember distictly the scene where he walks out of the facotry limping and then does a forward roll towards the crowd. Depp on the other hand is more reserved, he conveys the socially awkward side of Wonka in contrast to Wilder's childish exuberance. While the word character development might be going a bit overboard, Burton does try to explore the man behind the chocolate. Explaining Wonka's fasincation with sweets and the poor relationship with his dentist father; things that the book eluded to but that the first film avoided. In doing so Burton also puts across some of the more serious themes that were obviously important to Dahl. Family, friendship and honesty. Wilder's Wonka also had an aggresive undertone; shouting at Charlie in the later stages of the film and seemingly taking pleasure as one by one the other children disappear. This isn't part of Depps character. He's just far to simple for that, an adult who didn't grow up and thus can't really take things too seriously (please avoid comparisons with Michael Jackson.) Indeed in many instances the children find the simplicity he approaches situations with annoying.

The kids who play they children are great, each provide a good performace. But I just can't take the whole powerhouse child actor thing seriously. Think Dakota Flanning in War of the Worlds, Haley Joel Osmond in, well anything, or indeed Freedie Highmore as the new Charlie. I understand that it's devisive but when kids come out with lines like "I want to be a real boy" or "Candy doesn't have to have a point...that's why it's candy" (the fact that they stuck Americanisms into the film is another issue entirely!) it makes me cringe. I think you get my drift, I'll move on now.

Visually it is far superior to the first. Obviously because of the technological advances, but no less impart due to Tim Burton. The city is typically Burton, a mix of fantasy and old childrens stories (look at Charlie's crooked house) with a touch of Gotham City thrown in. The factory couldn't be more different. Fantastically colourful, like the Nightmare Before Christmas on acid. The scene with the squirels is worth the entrance fee alone.

Please go and watch this film. It won't be able to stir up the sort of passion the first film did, the kids film industry is a lot bigger than it was then, but everyone will enjoy it particularly those who were big fans of the book.

On a completely unrelated note, I couldn't help but notice the similarities between Wonka's factory, and the Googleplex. Google have definately modeled part of their business plan on Wonka's. Strict employee confidentiality, only letting the public in a couple of times a year and using the rumour mill as a PR engine; everyone knows the Googleplex is a magical place, but not many people have seen insdie it. Maybe I'll find a golden ticket inside a search query......a boy can always dream.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


As the summer fashion season draws to a close, the world of the triple-salko, bonnet shoe and weevel headsheath have once again brought it all back with a fabulous end to a fabulous London Fashion week, writes Hilary Alexander. The show this year was stolen by the fashionista's answer to the sandwich, the toastie.

Breville opened proceedings with a classic range inspired by toasted bread. Alexander McQueen, working for Russell Hobbs, turned heads with a cheese inspired two-slice 'WOW' show. Meanwhile, in Milan, Bush and Kenwood were strutting their non-sticks in a collection, leaving Vanity Fair to clamour 'The sandwich is dead! Long live the sandwich!'.

Some dissenting voices were marching past BUSH HQ in Saffron Walden, led by the sandwich king, the Sandwich King, in response to what they perceived as a 'toasted flood of the market'.

But those not showing their dissatisfaction were getting their 'wowifaction' in New York, where 'soleless' shoeman Jimmy Choo hung up his 'laces' and gave the opposition a 'shooing' with a range of toasted sandwich makers that Harpers & Queen declared as 'Better than sliced bread'.